Monday, September 17, 2012

Chemo Round 5 - Session 1

It's been quite an interesting week and I'm a little behind on updates. I've been meaning to write all week but sometimes, I just don't feel like talking about cancer.

On Wednesday, mom started a new round of chemo. We were at the clinic longer than expected because they wanted to run additional blood tests. The reason for the additional blood tests is because Tuesday morning, we had a scare which led me to believe that mom had some internal bleeding of the tumor or elsewhere. It was a side effect of the blood thinner lovenox. As soon as I suspected, I called the doctor's office and explained her symptoms. I was on the phone quite a bit Tuesday afternoon dealing with it. The doctor said that since it was just an isolated incident and mom was doing ok for the most part, that he'd order a INR test to monitor how the blood thinner is working. It's all such a fine delicate line...the blood thinner used to help the blood clot, but a symptom of that is that it can cause internal bleeding. Apart of me feels like if something sudden were to happen to mom as a result of these side effects that I'd blame myself. Mom relies heavily on my opinions (always has) when it comes to her medical treatment. All I know is that the decisions I've been making is something I would do if I were in the position. It's not so much that I am bombarding her with meds out of selfishness to save her no matter what the costs are.

Then on Friday, things just got bad. Not with mom but with me. While taking a shower before work, I slipped and fell in the bathtub and threw my back out completely. I layed there in so much pain and couldn't even move an inch. Luckily my husband was home!  I was so frustrated that it happened. I had to burn valuable sick time because I literally could not move more than a few inches with feeling excruciating pain. I felt like someone snapped my tailbone in half like a twig. That afternoon, I went to my chiro and got an adjustment. He gave me a back brace and told me to ice, and rest it all weekend. I was pretty much ordered to stay in bed all weekend which I did. I remember laying there so upset and feeling completely useless. This was not happening. I had things to do for mom and had to take care of her! Every effort I made to try and push through the pain failed. I finally told myself to just rest. It was the best thing I could for myself and for mom.

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