Mom had her second session of chemo round 5 last week Wednesday. I wish I can say the last week was easy but it wasn't. She's been in really rough shape. I haven't seen her this bad for quite some time. She's so fatigued to the point anytime she stands up, she feels like she's going to collapse and pass out. She's also not been able to eat for the past few days and she said that she's been feeling stomach pains again. She hadn't felt that for awhile now. I can see that she's just tired of all this and is really questioning to keep on fighting the good fight. I keep telling her that we'll take one day at a time and I will go along with anything she decides. She's been talking about hospices again and as hard as it is for me to accept that facet of this, I have to do what's right by her. We're meeting the palliative specialist later this week to talk about it.
The past few weeks I've also been consumed with research and clinical trials. I managed to convince Dr. A to send out mom's tumor tissue to get tested for a specific protein that I've been reading about. I came to know about it through some amazing people I've been who are also fighting the good fight. They are my cancer warriors and fellow caregivers.
The test examines mom's tumors for a specific protein. If she's tested positive for this specific protein, she can enter clinical trials with drugs that target and kill that protein in the tumor.But, she has to be positive for the specific protein makeup aka bio-marker. Chances of her being positive are extremely low from what I've been told. But, I am hoping...I am always hoping. I am not willing to throw in the towel quite yet. I need to know that when this is all said and done, that I can look in the mirror and tell myself that I've done everything possible that I could have done.