As some of you know already, I'm now a mom! It's still a surreal concept but I'm enjoying every minute of it. I remember chatting with my mom last summer during one of the chemo sessions about my birth. I remember her telling me that it was the most miraculous, amazing, and life changing feelings to ever endure. She could not have been more right. She said that the first time she held me and I opened my eyes and gazed at her, her heart just melted. I felt the same...the first time I held C in my arms and he looked up at me with those deep brown eyes, it took me to a place where my heart was just bubbling over with love. After all I had been through and the sadness that I experienced, he was here and I was so overjoyed. A reason to smile, a reason to be happy...a reason to live and enjoy those who are here and love you.
I thought I'd share the emotional day. Every mom has their story of their child's birth. Here's mine...
It was Sunday night and we were watching Game of Thrones like we normally do. I started getting a couple really bad cramps but through nothing of it cause I had been getting those off and on all week and it did not result into anything. From 10 PM - midnight, the cramps started getting worse. Close to 1 AM, I knew...I was actually having real contractions. I timed them and they were about 10 minutes apart. I told S and we started to get stuff together and make our way to the hospital. We arrived there around 1:30 AM and I was checked in and then admitted into one of their pre-labor rooms to monitor my status. I was hooked up so they can track my contractions. I was dilated only 4 cm (which I have been for the past week), so no change there. Between 1:30 AM - 2:30 AM though, there was no progression. My contractions all of a sudden were getting farther apart. The staff told me that even though I was in active labor, that it would be awhile until I was ready. They suggested I head back home and track my contractions until they were about 5 minutes apart and then come back.
I was sad that I had to go back home cause I felt like I was so close. Between the hours of 3:00 AM - 5:00 AM, I tracked my contractions. They were getting painful. The contractions were now about 3 minutes apart. We got our things together and headed to the hospital again, and this time they checked me in right away to what would be my delivery room. The contractions were intense to the point that I couldn't talk anymore. I kept progressing (about 7 cm) and at about 7 AM, I was given an epidural to alleviate some of the pain. This was a godsend. Things calmed down a bit the next few hours but unfortunately I stopped progressing and stalled out. They decided to gave me pitocin, an inducing drug, to help things get moving. At around 11 AM, the baby's heart beat started dropping which wasn't good. They stopped the pitocin and I had to move into various positions to see if I could get the heart rate back up, which I did. It was intense! We waited a few more hours, and still...no more progression.
They decided to start the pitocin again, but at a lower dose. I was pretty out of it and almost half asleep. All I remember is around 2:30 PM or so, my OB and a few nurses came rushing to my room and said the heart rate was dropping low again and how the baby wasn't liking it and the baby had to come out now. They said that I had to do an emergency c section. Within a few minutes, I was whisked away to the operating room with a dozen or so people flurrying around me. My heart began racing and so many thoughts flooded my mind. A part of me could not believe this was happening. All that I kept thinking was I needed my baby to be ok. He had to be ok. Something good needed to happen. I held my husband's hand and tried to calm down as they prepped me for surgery. I closed my eyes for a moment and talked silently to mom. I said, "Mom, you told me that you'd be here if I ever really needed you. I need you now. Please let C be ok." What seemed like just a few seconds, I felt tugging on my body and shortly after, I heard my baby boy cry. Tears of joy ran down my face.