Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Holding on Tight

After we left the rehab facility (Saturday), I drove mom directly to the ER. I knew that she'd be in good hands there. After the initial intake and chest x-ray, we saw that mom had more fluid buildup in her lungs. The attending physician decided to admit mom and make her more comfortable until they could drain her lungs again. They scheduled her thora to be Monday since she's been on blood thinners and they needed to make sure the procedure was not too risky since her INR was a bit high.

Yesterday (Monday), mom underwent her thora and has been recovering. She's still in quite a bit of pain and discomfort and is resting quite a bit. I am in the process of working with the social worker again to get this post hospital discharge all taken care of.  I did explain our experience at the previous rehab facility and they sympathized with me. So we're back to the drawing board with this.  Our options are very limited though since we were told insurance would not cover a normal nursing home or hospice. We can only do a short-term transitional care facility...and short term is dependent upon the different facilities' rules.

Tonight (Tuesday), I had a lengthy conversation with Dr. A about mom's current prognosis, our options, his assessment of the care going forward and lastly, me.   He told me that he was very concerned about me in all this and what I've had to deal with so far and said the coming weeks will be harder. He wanted to make sure he was there if I needed him and told me to try to do anything to hold onto anything right now to give me sanity. He said as hard as it is, I needed to take care of myself and the baby...because there will be decisions to be made coming up that will push me to the edge. And I just have to trust myself. A lot of other things we discussed are private family matters and don't want to write about them fully yet until my sister and I figure things out.

Over the weekend I heard this song on the radio and the words just resonated with me. Mainly because in a few weeks my sister and I will hopefully get some much needed answers on the genetics. The official genetic report on mom is done and about to be released by the BC Cancer Agency. We will find out if the genetic marker was actually hiding in her DNA and what that means for us. But for now, I'm holding on tight to my dream of welcoming my baby boy into this world. I'm holding onto the dream that I will be okay after all this is said and done...and holding onto life, not death.

No comments:

Post a Comment