Monday, February 18, 2013

Hospice: Day 2

DAY 2 - Friday

On Friday morning, I arrived early to see mom.  When I called her earlier to see how her first night went, mom continued to complain about her new surroundings. She said that the night was very bad and how she felt like she wasn't getting the care she expected. I tried to probe her to find out exactly what was going on. I spent all day and most of the night with her to observe what was going on. I noticed that they did take very long to respond when we'd buzz for her morphine...which was not good.    One time, it took an hour.

They were also making her do things like weight checks which involved her getting out of bed and pushing her body and stressing her out. I didn't like this at all. She just wanted to rest and take things easy.  I also noticed that they were giving her medications that she really didn't need and in pill form which I specifically had told the doctor to stop (mom had starting having a lot of difficulty swallowing any pills). I made mental notes of things I had to take it upon myself to get remedied fast.  They were essentially treating mom like a long term care patient and not a hospice patient which was my concern of having hospice at the nursing home but went along with it cause she said it is what she wanted.

I was thankful that the hospice nurse called me that morning and she'd be coming in for an assessment in the afternoon. When I met her, I told her my concerns. She thought it was absurd that they were making mom do certain things. She was able to talk to the staff to stop with all the useless medications and also the weight checks.

I was also quite thankful that my sister and brother-in-law were driving up for the weekend. I felt the four of us just needed to be together and talk as we go through all this. Since the beginning we've the foundation of mom's support. My sister and I had to make a lot of tough decisions along the way and had to experience a whirlwind of emotions.

Me,  being on the front lines since last May..being the primary caregiver and the rock who has yet to shed a tear in front of my dying mom. My sister, doing what she could to be here as much as possible since she lives out of state and dealing with feeling guilt.  And our husbands being the safety nets for us  all the times we fall and helping us mend our broken hearts.

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