Hospice: Day 4

DAY 4 - Sunday

On Sunday,  I called early to check in with mom. She was freaking out again and was feeling very restless. She just kept repeating over and over that she wanted out of of there and how she was depending on me to get her out of there. I told her that I'd talk to the social worker first thing on Monday morning.

I decided to have my sister and brother-in-law go ahead before me to get her situation under control. I gave them specific instructions to have the nurse give her ativan to ease her mind until I got there later in the afternoon. She slept most of the day and seemed more calm from the day before.

I took a few hours for myself to just take a short breather and prepare for the coming week. I needed some alone time to sit and think. My husband worked hard at painting the baby nursery that day too and it was so wonderful to see it completed when I got home from the hospice. He's been so amazing handling pretty much everything else while I tend to mom since last May. We talked about the coming weeks and how I'd be spending pretty much all my time at the hospice, and he says I gotta do what I gotta do.

In a week, my sister would be back to somewhat alleviate some of the stress of me...which I am really looking forward to.  It really helps me when she's here because besides me, she's the only other person mom fully trusts to be around.  Don't get me wrong, she appreciates others being around but there's just a relaxed peace of mind when my sister and I are with her.  So, we are trying out best to manage our schedules so that mom can have that love and comfort before she leaves this earth.  For most of our lives, it's always been just the three of us...always sticking together through good and bad times and it's only fitting that we spend mom's final days how we lived.  It does sadden me that pretty soon that the three of us will soon be the two of us...but I know she will always be there looking out for us. She loved us so deeply that words simply cannot explain and she will be one powerful guardian angel when the time comes.